Pilgrim Journeys - Chapter 3: Lessons Learned

Introduction

God may speak to us through dreams & visions, an individual word through the Holy Spirit or a prophetic word from a faithful Christian, but more often than not, He speaks to us through our ordinary life, and the circumstances we find ourselves in. Eternity is found in the present moment, and is where the Lord of eternity desires to meet us.

Winter, with its dark skies and short days, can be a time we just have to pull through, but on the other side of that coin, it forces us to stay indoors and naturally reflect on the year. It can be a season ordained by God when we have no other choice than to sit with Jesus and talk to him about the events of our ordinary life. Jesus can and will use the normality of a time of year to be with us in the plain old events of life.

I want to share a few lessons learned from what could have been just plain ordinary events of life while walking through Europe with Jesus.

Lesson 1: God’s much more patient than me

I was speaking to a friend recently who exclaimed that he felt he should be much further along the spiritual journey than he actually is. I shared his sentiment. I’ve been following Jesus for as long as I can remember, and this past year, I’ve felt like I’ve only begun to learn what it really looks like (and feels like) to follow him fully. It discourages me in a way, that it has taken so long to feel this way, yet it shows just how truly committed Jesus has always been to me. If I was trying to teach someone the same lessons for almost two decades and they still were struggling, let's just say I wouldn’t have waited that long. Jesus waited, and the lessons he has been teaching me aren’t always as profound as you might expect, yet they feel that way when I hear them. More often than not when I’m walking through the woods with no sound but that of the wind through the trees, the Father takes that opportunity just to remind me how much He really loves me, and that is more profound than just about anything. That’s the beautiful thing about walking with Jesus. Many of the simple joys of the Christian life come from going with Jesus on a walk, and that’s enough. Jesus is patient enough to walk with us through our life.

Lesson 2: Confession is a powerful tool

I grew up in a tradition where confession was usually only practiced at youth camp once a year when everyone was riding a spiritual high. The things confessed were the usual things a teenage boy might be feeling guilty about. That time was no doubt a great introduction to how powerful confession can be, but it was never meant to stop there. It was only this year that the Father started showing me just how truly wrecked my heart is without him. I took the opportunity earlier this year to confide in a dear friend a shortfall, I felt the Lord had convicted me on. To someone else, it might not have seemed like a big deal, and the wrong I committed might have even felt “understandable” considering the circumstances. Thank the Father, that the Holy Spirit doesn’t let us be content with our wrongdoings. I confessed to my friend in tears, and even as I write this my eyes are swelling thinking of it, not out of shame anymore, but out of the joy of a thankful heart for a Father who forgives all our sins and transforms our hearts! Praise God, that He doesn’t leave us the way He found us.

Lesson 3: The Father’s desire is truly for us never to be anxious

It might seem like wishful thinking, but when Paul writes in Philippians “not to be anxious about anything” he actually meant that. The Bible promises that Jesus can and will lead us to a place where anxiety doesn’t have any place in our hearts and coming from a guy who has let anxiety overtake him over just about anything that says a lot.

My practice of battling anxiety in my heart began with the discipline of “breath prayer” as I’ve written about in previous posts (refer to Pilgrim Journeys - Chapter 2: Peaceful Streams). For those who aren’t familiar with the practice, breath prayer is defined as, “A form of contemplative prayer linked to the rhythms of breathing: (1) breathe in, calling on a biblical name or image of God, and (2) breathe out a simple God-given desire.” This practice has served as a foundation for reminding my mind and body of the truth of God’s word by using my body to pray that truth. However, simply repeating a few words over and over again has not changed my heart overnight. Instead, it has been a long, patient transformation of changing the way I react to anxiety-producing situations. The transforming practice to change how I react to these situations wasn’t removing myself from the situation but continually giving the situation to the someone who is the Lord of all things in prayer. Shocking that simply obeying what God said to do about anxiety actually works!

The late Christian philosopher Dallas Willard gives a wonderful illustration of how our hearts are transformed called, “The Golden Triangle” in his book, “The Divine Conspiracy”. On the two bottom points of the triangle are on one end “the ordinary events of life” or you might say how we react to such events, and on the other end are “the practices” or disciplines that we put into practice daily to work with God in changing our hearts. On the top point of the triangle in its supremacy to how our hearts are changed is the intervention of the Holy Spirit in our lives. This is a beautiful illustration of how God will lead someone free of something such as anxiety. The discipline or “practice” of breath prayer trains my body and mind to trust Jesus daily. The “reaction” is whether I chose to give to God the thing I reacted anxiously about through prayer. In all this, I am working with the Holy Spirit inviting Him to continually change my heart from the inside out.

That said, I’m not saying that I have reached the place of never feeling anxious about anything quite yet, but there is hope on the horizon, and Jesus is taking me there.

Lesson 4: Jesus’ way to live life really is the best way

Believing that Jesus’ path for my life is the best way might be a no “duh” for someone who calls himself a Christian, and I have believed this intellectually as long as I’ve been a Christian. Yet, the process of really believing and knowing this in my heart takes a bit longer than being able to gather the right set of data. You have to experience the “Kingdom of God” that Jesus preached about on a soul level to believe that that Kingdom really is the best in your heart.

A thought I had not too long ago was, “What did Jesus really save me from?” I know the “right” answer, but when thinking about my ordinary life in a practical way, I couldn’t come up with an immediate answer. I mean, I’ve never committed any “serious sins” that have gotten me into any serious trouble. I grew up in church, from the outside many would say, I’ve led a good life so far. What do I really need Jesus to change? Over the last few months, as the Holy Spirit tugs me closer to Jesus, I’m beginning to learn just what that “what” is. I’m beginning to learn just how bent my heart (and the human condition) is towards my fellow man. This came up when doing a study on Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. In Jesus’ teachings, He wasn’t aiming at how to solve surface-level behavioral problems, like the rich young ruler, “I’ve kept these since my youth.” Jesus was teaching how the human heart is corrupted and the evil that is in the world comes out of a heart that isn’t committed to God at all. I might do all the right things such as go to church regularly or not abuse alcohol on the weekends but in my heart, if I still desire all the wrong things, I would act them out given the right opportunity. Worse yet, I might go to church every Sunday, and in all aspects of my life transform in no real way into someone more like Jesus.

After coming to this knowledge on a soul level, something had to change. As I said before, the Father is much more patient than me, so this too is a slow process of the Holy Spirit tweaking my heart to choose at a deep level the things of Jesus over all the pleasures and treasures this world has to offer. Don’t get me wrong this world has some great treasures, but as C.S. Lewis put it, “We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea (C.S. Lewis - The Weight of Glory). It’s not that the world isn’t attractive, it’s that the peace and joy Jesus offers us is something that the world simply cannot give.

Conclusion

This year didn’t quite go as I expected, and tragically I realized I’m not nearly as mature in my faith as I thought I was. At the same time, I thank the Father for His grace always meeting me exactly where I’m at and filling me with His joy and peace which I never deserved to begin with. I look forward to continually walking with Jesus in the years to come as He teaches me how to live in the Kingdom of God.